What the Pho??

I really like Pho, you know, the Vietnamese noodle soup where you almost always put way too many peppers in it and way too much of that red chili sauce and then you take a bite and you realize you ruined your soup but you keep eating because, dammit, you paid for it and now you're sweating and the person next to you is asking "are you OK?" and to prove it you take another bite and now your head is really going to blow.

It's quite delicious.

But I hate ordering it. Any normal person wants to pronounce it "F'ooh" but the experts say it's pronounced "F'uh". Fooh, Fuh, these are the sort of things that make me feel insecure at a restaurant, like the following true story based on real daydreams.

Waiter: Would you like some wine?
Me: Yes, the 'meritage' sounds good - (pronouncing it 'mer-it-taaage')
Waiter: You fool, it's not 'mer-it-taage", it's 'mer-i-tige', like 'heritage'.
Me: Right, right. Would that go well with the 'brushetta?'
Waiter: It's 'bru-sketta', you idiot! Get out of here!

These are the things that keep me up at night. I know, I have quite a life.